So, you\'re interested in catching an Imakuni?, are you not? Too bad. He\'s mine.

What\'s that? You don\'t care? Alright. Then listen carefully, and I\'ll tell you exactly how to catch, raise, and battle with your very own Imakuni?!

Section I: What is an Imakuni?

An Imakuni? (yes, spelled with the question mark) is a strange, human-like Pokémon that dresses up in a weird, black bear/mouse costume. Don\'t worry, he\'s hard to miss. In fact, the only thing that\'ll give you trouble when finding one is the fact that he\'s so rare. Yep. Imakuni? is one of a kind!

Pokémon Zukan (PokéDex) Information
Imakuni?
The Confusion Pokémon
Height: 6 ft. 03 in.
Weight: 114 lbs.
Description: A strange and mysterious dancing creature. He asks kids around the world, \"Who is cuter: PIKACHU or me?\"
Location: Unknown

Miscellanious Statistics

Type: Normal (A/N: Ha! Ha! That\'s ironic!)
Weaknesses: Fighting
Resistances: None
No effect: Ghost
Special ability: Little Dance (Causes the Pokémon to question the sanity of its user and its foe)
Evolution line: Imakuni? neither evolve from nor into any other Pokémon. No evolution.

Section II: How to Catch an Imakuni?

Like I\'ve said before, catching an Imakuni? is going to be tough work. Actually, scracth that. Finding an Imakuni? is going to be tough work. Otherwise, if you\'ve got a Pikachu or a karaoke machine and a PokéBall, you won\'t have much trouble.

Imakuni? is like Raikou, Entei, Suicune, and the Lati siblings. He appears at random all over the world, rather than just in one or two (or if you\'re Magikarp, five hundred) specific areas. However, he\'s usually spotted in Pokémon clubs, singing and dancing to loud, weird music. In other words, just follow the crazy dance mix, and you\'ll find him.

No matter what Pokémon you\'ll send out, you won\'t be able to battle him. Why? Because his special ability is called \"Little Dance.\" What does it do? It confuses your Pokémon for the entire battle. When you tell your Pokémon to attack Imakuni?, there\'ll be a fifty percent chance that your Pokémon will attack.

What happens with the other fifty percent? Your Pokémon won\'t attack. Simple as that. I\'d recommend switching Pokémon immediately, though you might have a hard time even doing that because your poor little monster\'s too transfixed by Imakuni?\'s \"dancing.\"

Okay, so, you can\'t weaken Imakuni?. What now? Remember how I told you that you should have a Pikachu with you if you want to go after Imakuni? Yes? Good. Put it to use. As soon as Imakuni? sees your Pikachu, he\'ll get jealous and automatically go with you, trying to be \"cuter than Pikachu.\"

And if that doesn\'t work, offer to sing karaoke with him.

Section III: Caring for Your Imakuni?

Imakuni? needs lots of care. Let\'s face it; he wants to know you think he\'s cuter than Pikachu. He can groom and feed himself; that\'s not the problem. You just have to constantly give him the attention he needs, plus play with him (meaning, sing karaoke and do weird dances with him) when he asks nicely. This will make for a happy Imakuni?, and when Imakuni? is happy, we\'re all happy, right?

...Right?

Bah. Screw you then.

Now, which items to use and not to use on Imakuni?. Imakuni? likes pink Pokéblocks. Why pink? Why not?

He also prefers berries to man-made Pokémon healing formulas, and likes to hold the shiny, gold nuggets. Other than that, do what you want with him.

As for diet, Imakuni? thinks he\'s a human, so feed him any sort of human food. Don\'t worry if he vomits it right back up like your dog or winds up going all over the carpet.

Speaking about going, don\'t worry. Imakuni? come potty trained... unless of course you\'ve bred him and are handling a baby Imakuni?.

Subsection III-A: Breeding

Imakuni? is particularly odd when it comes to breeding. He doesn\'t seem to want to breed with any Pokémon you throw him against, even Ditto! However, he seems quite attracted to female humans, so if you\'re really desperate to breed Imakuni?, go around and ask female humans if they\'d like to have their child fathered by your Imakuni?... Or perhaps you can do the job yourself. (*thinks about that for a second, then walks up to a random girl on the street* Will you bear my Imakuni?\'s child!?)

Pregnancy time: Nine months, no matter how many steps you take.
Gender ratio: 50% male, 50% female, though you\'ll only find male Imakuni? in the wild.

Also, when your baby Imakuni? is born, it doesn\'t have that cute, bear/mouse costume its father has. You\'ll have to make one of those yourself, just like how Imakuni? get their costumes in the wild. Sorry, mates!

Section IV: Battling Using Your Imakuni?

Subsection IV-A: Moves

Imakuni? doesn\'t have a specific moveset, and he can only use certain moves at certain times. For example, put him in water, and the only move he\'ll be able to use is Splash. Give him a sword, and he\'ll be able to use Sword Dance and Slash. Give him a basket of petals, and he\'ll do a small rendition of Petal Dance. And give him a Native American headdress, a blanket, and a few beats on a bass drum, and he\'ll be able to do Rain Dance.

Subsection IV-B: Stats

Imakuni? are like Magikarp. They have ridiculously low stats in everything. Save for speed. Kami, Imakuni? can run like there\'s no tomorrow.

Point being, don\'t get frustrated at Imakuni? if he loses a battle. He\'s still cute!

Subsection IV-C: The Dos and Don\'ts of an Imakuni? Battle

Let\'s face it. You need strategy when using an Imakuni? for battle! Let\'s see now...

Do use him in a battle in which you\'re desperate. With his special ability, you have a fifty percent chance of causing your opponent\'s Pokémon to simply sit there and stare at your Imakuni? without doing much else, which leads to an automatic win thanks to psychological means. Either that, or your Imakuni? will have the crap beaten out of him thanks to that other fifty percent. ^_^;

Don\'t put him in a battle with Fighting-type Pokémon. For some odd reason, they don\'t care whether or not he\'s a loony Pokémon; they\'ll still kick his butt from here to Cianwood City and back.

Do supply him with the correct settings and props needed for attacks. (See subsection IV-A.)

Don\'t cheer him on using negative means, i.e. bribery (\"I\'ll give you a cookie if you win!\"), insults (\"Pikachu is so much better than you are!\"), threats (Think Jessie and her Wobbuffet.), et cetera.

Do encourage him using positive means, i.e. compliments, the cliché \"you can do it\"\'s, et cetera.

Don\'t get distracted by his dancing. Please at least listen to that one, for god\'s sake!

Subsection IV-D: Leveling Up Your Imakuni?

So, you\'ve done all this training. Is it paying off?

Actually, no. Imakuni? level up incredibly slowly, if at all.

Section V: FAQ

Q: Geez! Imakuni? sound like useless Pokémon! What did I catch one for, anyways!?
A: His cuteness. That and Imakuni? makes a pretty dang good butler.

Q: My Imakuni? ran away! What did I do wrong, and how do I get it back!?
A: First off, you probably gave your Pikachu (or other cute Pokémon) more attention than you gave it. Simply display your love for your Imakuni?, and he should come right back.

And if that doesn\'t work, try using Team Rocket\'s various capturing methods.

Q: My Imakuni? died! How did that happen!?
A: Uh... I dunno. *hides the bottle of poison*

Q: My Imakuni? refuses to eat! What do I do!?
A: You\'re probably trying to feed him the wrong sort of thing. As I\'ve said in Section III, Imakuni? is an omnivore who prefers to eat human foods, rather than Pokémon food. Don\'t force him to eat pellets; give him table scraps, if not an actual meal!

Q: My Imakuni? won\'t stop dancing and singing! It\'s annoying! What do I do?
A: ...But Imakuni? are SUPPOSED to dance and sing. But if it annoys you that much, put him to sleep by conking him on the head or using another Pokémon\'s sleep techniques. I suggest getting rid of your Imakuni? soon after because as soon as he wakes up, he\'s just going to start dancing and singing all over again.

Q: What was the point of this whole guide!?
A: Amusement.

And that\'s all the time we have for right now. Next week, we\'ll teach you how to train and care for your very own bishounen -- featuring Sonezaki Masaki as our guest star!

(Masaki: *hand-cuffed to a pole* I was kidnapped and forced into doing this! HELP!)

Until then, happy training!